The transition from the honeymoon period, to the period of compromise is never a smooth one. The predominant fear is that is that of change and the resistance to it makes sure that this transition is the thorniest road in the life of a couple. The most common accusation is “You’ve changed”, following which is of course the series of deliberation with oneself, considering whether or not you still desire this changed person. The result of getting past this minor hurdle is usually happily-ever-after (exceptions: cheating, family issues).
Anyone who’s been in a relationship for longer than a year will concur. There comes the phase of arguments and fighting and the relationship in general seems to be regressing. I admit that accepting change is extremely difficult for me. However, compromise need not always be so blatant.
Lately, I seem to have developed a passion for baking- something that really didn't interest me earlier. It’s mostly for my boyfriend that I bake (even though we live in different countries). Somehow, it makes me extremely happy to find myself doing something for him. Just like a child wants to prove that he/she is a good child, I think I'm trying to be the good girlfriend.
It really isn’t conscious manipulation that I’m talking about here. I really enjoy baking for him, and I doubt I would be doing it if it wasn’t for him. I guess it just reinforces my feelings about him and distracts me from thinking about fights. Consciously or unconsciously, baking has become a subtle gesture of compromise- a gesture that says I want to get through this.
Think of any recent hobbies that you've taken up and maybe you'll realize where it came from. Rest assured, it will make you smile.
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