Austen Inspired (Part 1): Letters and Love

History is best told as a tale and the social situation during the Regency period in Britain wouldn’t have been the same without Jane Austen. She paints a beautiful picture about the notions of romance, courtship and describes the social hierarchy without making an apparent effort. That, by default, makes her my favourite author.

What draws me further to her is the kind of language she uses- simple, not Shakespearean.  Yet, it sounds “proper”, just like British English should! Well, long story short- I love Jane Austen and it’s about time I drew from her novels (and the movies based on them) because if we’re talking about love, we simply cannot forget my dear Miss Austen.

Thus, I begin this journey. I hope I do her some justice.

Austen's first tip of romance: Write letters

There is no such thing as an emotionally-neutral word. Each and every word is so full of passion and meaning that the gift of words could be the sweetest gift that one could receive. Writing, in itself is an act of love. It is almost sensuous, the way the ink is traced on paper, weaving out words. When you write, especially when you pen down your feelings, the feeling is one of liberation and insight. To think of it, writing is a secret indulgence- a confession to oneself (in the form of a diary) or to another (a letter).

Letters are now the most underrated form of communication. Alas, it’s not 1811 anymore and people obviously prefer texting, IMing and chatting over typing out an email (or better still, writing a letter). Lingo is becoming shorter and so are the number of words used to express feelings!

We all love letters- we just find excuses to explain the lack of them in our life. Find me one girl who doesn’t have a smile on her face while reading a letter from a secret admirer (or a known one!).

A letter could be just a random gesture of love in a long distance relationship- to spice things up! In fights, letters can often be a saviour. They are the best way to say or explain something and save a lot of energy that is usually spent shouting- like Mr. Darcy does in Pride and prejudice.  While breaking up through a letter is something I wouldn’t encourage- letters can also be the road to closure.

Writing a letter to someone is like enclosing everything you have ever felt in a piece of paper. And giving that gift to someone is the sign of a complete emotional connection. Just write a letter to that someone special, you'll know how good it feels to make that special effort. Some traditions are worth keeping. 

Oh..how I would love to receive a handwritten love letter! 

“Let us not underestimate the power of a well written letter”- The Jane Austen Book Club.

Little Things That Matter Much

The transition from the honeymoon period, to the period of compromise is never a smooth one. The predominant fear is that is that of change and the resistance to it makes sure that this transition is the thorniest road in the life of a couple. The most common accusation is “You’ve changed”, following which is of course the series of deliberation with oneself, considering whether or not you still desire this changed person. The result of getting past this minor hurdle is usually happily-ever-after (exceptions: cheating, family issues).

Anyone who’s been in a relationship for longer than a year will concur. There comes the phase of arguments and fighting and the relationship in general seems to be regressing. I admit that accepting change is extremely difficult for me. However, compromise need not always be so blatant.

Lately, I seem to have developed a passion for baking- something that really didn't interest me earlier. It’s mostly for my boyfriend that I bake (even though we live in different countries). Somehow, it makes me extremely happy to find myself doing something for him.  Just like a child wants to prove that he/she is a good child, I think I'm trying to be the good girlfriend.

It really isn’t conscious manipulation that I’m talking about here. I really enjoy baking for him, and I doubt I would be doing it if it wasn’t for him. I guess it just reinforces my feelings about him and distracts me from thinking about fights. Consciously or unconsciously, baking has become a subtle gesture of compromise- a gesture that says I want to get through this. 

Think of any recent hobbies that you've taken up and maybe you'll realize where it came from. Rest assured, it will make you smile.

The Big Dream

“"She believed in dreams, all right, but she also believed in doing something about them. When Prince Charming didn't come along, she went over to the palace and got him" - Walt Disney

There are several types of dreams. There are the dreams that are impossible, like the incessant desire to fly. Some dreams are small and short lived, like the dream to top in an exam. Then, there are the big dreams. These are the ones that are grounded in reality, yet they seem too far off to chase down.

Movie Inspiration: Pretty Woman

This movie made me realize the importance of chasing down a dream. Have you ever won something you worked really hard for? Then you’ll know what I mean. The last scene of this movie made me feel like that. Like Julia Roberts had worked as a prostitute all her life, waiting for her Prince Charming to save her, and when he finally does- it’s because she had the courage to seize her dream.

What if she had given up? When I feel like giving up, I think of this movie. My big dream has always been to find romantic, spontaneous, all consuming love. There are times that I try to convince myself that the dating world is a bitch and I might never find the ideal person. Why lose someone who is "good enough" to chase down something that I don’t even know exists.

But, somewhere deep down in my heart, I know that these are just excuses. It’s always easier to give up. The hardest thing to do is to stand up for your dream and stick with it until the very end. If you give up, you regret. I've held on to my dream so selfishly all these years, I’m not going to give it up for someone who makes me feel like maybe this dream doesn’t exist. Because it does. I know. It. Does.